In my youth I found a truth, a vital verity,
It’s not a jab, a blow, a stab to say, “it’s not for me.”
“It’s not for me,” decidedly is five small words, almost a plea,
Less judgment than confession, see, to express, “it’s not for me.”
For reputation adulation’s best decidedly,
But for the truth, though uncouth, one must speak candidly,
For one man’s meat’s another’s offal, how awful, truthfully,
So when a place isn’t to my taste I must say, “it’s not for me.”
And ill opinions kill when persons take them personally,
But a bad review’s not about you, untrue, “it’s not for me.”
Like movies, games, books, comics and of course TV,
My favorite joint could have you point and say, “it’s not for me.”
So while taste is best kept close to chest, not shouted carelessly,
As I slog through this blog, I must squawk unequivocally,
For a spot resides that oft divides opinions drastically,
Little Tap House, I’m forced to grouse, *ahem* “it’s not for me.”
Its trappings and its wrappings are presented stunningly,
But simply put – mouth meet foot – the food… “it’s not for me.”
Before you bark, “what a lark!” understand the gravity,
Of lambasting a place (risking egg on face) to say, “it’s not for me.”
The Shepherd’s Pie, the Fish & Chips and Lobster Mac make three,
Dishes I’ve tried, that on my hide, were challenged season-ally,
Though well-prepared these vittles shared a flaw resoundingly,
Lacking herb and spice, though cooked quite nice, I say “it’s not for me.”
Now, people rant their burgers can’t be beat (I shan’t agree),
Burgers abound around, I’ve found, so still, “it’s not for me.”
Meet meat.
555, The Front Room, Caiola’s and In’Finiti,
Their burgers all are on the ball, so I scrawl, “it’s not for me.”
It’d be a shame to blame its fame on sheer proximity,
Its service and its feel appeal to tipplers like me,
Meaning for one drink – nod nod wink wink – I’ll go unblinkingly,
But for a munch, dinner or brunch, I say, “it’s not for me.”
The House of Tap gets a good rap from the majority,
In short the seasoning’s my reasoning why, “it’s not for me.”
Were I rootin’ tootin’ drinkin’ hootin’ there’d be no scrutiny,
But sitting down to dine I frown, sorry, “it’s not for me.”
See Portland’s food is beyond good, with true variety,
Which means a space of ample grace and ingenuity,
Whose fare has tracked a certain lack of one necessity,
Is not enough for me to bluff and say, “it’s just for me.”
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FOOD: 2.8 Stars |
I really wish I liked Little Tap House more. The menu is well laid out and diverse, but in the end I’ve never really been satisfied by a meal there. The burgers are certainly fine, no disappointment there, but they’re not better than so many other burgers in Portland. |
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PRICE: Middle Management |
With burgers ~$13 and Entrees at ~$22, it’s not inexpensive. Nothing wild for Portland, though. |
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AMBIENCE: Urban rustic |
A dollop of “Farm-y” touches, meaning hardwood flourishes and some farm implements on the walls. It’s well laid out, intimate and comfortable. |
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SERVICE: At the ready |
A fine wait staff. Good for what ye need. |
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EAT OR SKIP: Skip |
As good as Little Tap House is for a drink, it just doesn’t stack up for dinner. Mind you, if you go, you won’t leave in a huff. But there are other options nearby in Portland that, for about the same price, (Caiola’s, In’Finiti, 555, Portland & Rochester Public House to name a few) will leave you better satiated. |