Pai Men Miyake - Portland, ME

Pai Men Miyake

a review done through haikus

sit down and get zen

Pai Men: the joint's name

Means 100 noodles, so

carb town here I come

"Want to do Pai Men?"

But we ate there yesterday.

And the day before.

Seat by the kitchen

Beware. Hella smoke. Stinging eyes.

Shit ventilation

Be like an authentic Japanese Salaryman; drink until you cry.

Picture C/O Map and Menu

Solid drink menu

Good beers, wine, cocktails. Though I

always get Bunker.

Time to mix it up

Try a new entree for once

“The usual?” Yes.

The Shoyu Ramen

shoyu = soy sauce, man

Japanese ketchup

The Miso Ramen

Miso hungry. Haha! Right?

You get it? Is joke.

Miso sad you didn't like joke.

Picture C/O Foodspotting

The Paitan ramen

salty, beefy, taste-bud slap

sodium crunk bomb

Sweet, noodle Jesus

Look at all this damn ramen.

Now it's inside me.

You ever seen one of those helicopters that pick up water to put out forest fires?

Picture C/O Yelp user Rachel D.

Waitress walked right by

my beer’s empty WTF

I made eye contact

Perfect meal you ask?

The brussels appetizer,

Shoyu ramen, beer.

Great spicy tuna.

You don’t like spicy tuna?

What? Impossible.

Spicy tuna are known for their bright scales and Sriracha blood.

Picture C/O Foodspotting

Inside, smoke. Strong smell.

Outside get gawked at so hard.

Still, both are worth it.

Take a date there.

Pay for it like a G-baus.

Cash for drinks after.

Better Japanese?

In Portland for the same price?

Go to Pai Men high.

Hipsters welcome!

C/O Flickr user Corey Templeton

Ate Pai Men last week.

Put on the same-ass jacket.

Still smells like ramen.


4.2 Stars

Ramen. I mean c’mon. Japanese chicken noodle soup for the teenage soul. Sure, their apps and rolls and even salads are diggity delicious too. But, ramen.



Right in the middle of the road. Get out of a full meal for two for $50 to $60 with dranks.  For the quality of food, It’s a bargain, ya?! 


Wood ‘n’ stuff

Nicely put together. Though you will notice the smell as soon as you come in. It's a pungent place with all that broth-a-cooking.


冷 Shoulder

I’ve been there regularly and while service is always cheerful, there’s something passive aggressive about their timing. Let's stamp this one "adequate."



You ever had authentic japanese ramen, punk? No? NO? Give this jamma a try.