Man A: Are you ready to go?
Man B: If you’ll lend us an ear.
Man 2: As we review Marcy’s.
Man 3: …
Man 2: Um, Man 3 isn’t here.
Man A: Hmm, the timing is right.
Man B: Wednesday morn on the dot.
Man 2: I’m really sorry guys, but here he is not.
Man 3: …
Man A: Man 2 that was your duty!
Man B: Your call and your charge!
Man 2: I really am sorry, I feel like an ass that’s quite large.
Man 3: …
Man A: Well this is a boot in the jeans.
Man B: A tap to the jewels.
Man 2: Where the hell could he be?
Man 3: Yo, what up fools!
Man A: Finally, good goodness.
Man B: You’ve decided to show.
Man 2: What took you so long?
Man 3: Um, some stuff... Look, let’s go.
They gawt a sense a hume-a!
Picture C/O Tripadvisor
A-5, 6, 7, 8!
Man A: Well haven’t you heard?
Man B: Rave reviews did you see?
Man 2: For a diner in Portland by the name of?
Man 3: Man 3?
Man A: Already, you cooked it.
Man B: Straight into the pot!
Man 2: Dude, we’re rhyming about Marcy’s.
Man 3: That’s not what I thought.
Man A: We absolutely are.
Man B: Marcy’s Diner you know?
Man 2: Open for breakfast + brunch,
Man 3: I don’t know that place, yo.
Man A: What the hell, man?
Man B: Seriously, what the hay?
Man 2: We’re only here to review it.
Man 3: Well why didn’t you say?
Man A: It was on the invite.
Man B: yeah seriously Man 3.
Man 2: Ohhhh, I forgot to give it to him.
Man 3: Haha! Boom!… See?!
Man A: Well we’re doing it now.
Man B: This is taking too long.
Man 2: Alright, we’re reviewing Marcy’s Diner.
Man 3: Yo check out this song.
Man A: Jesus in God’s heaven!
Man B: Poo out a brick!
Man 2: I vouched for you Man 3.
Man 3: What? Why are you being a dick?
Man A: Hey! No more profanity!
Man B: We’re here for Marcy’s, see?
Man 2: Didn’t you eat there yesterday?
Man 3: Is it right on Oak St. and Free?
Man A: That corner precisely.
Man B: Green front, hard to miss.
Man 2: It’s the one with the flag.
Man 3: Wait. Crap. Looks like this?
Man A: So, have you been then?
Man B: Yeah, you really did go?
Man 2: He was most likely baked.
Man 3: hahahahahahahaha right? Y’know?
Man A: Cease this talk about drugs!
Man B: We’re child-friendly: PG.
Man 2: Oh right, Man 3, play along.
Man 3: That’s one lame-ass strategy.
Man A: Well, gentlefolks love it.
Man B: “peeps” all kinds, you know.
Man 2: We’re doing this mainstream.
Man 3: Shi... I mean, fu.. Whatever, let’s go.
Man A: …OK, so we’re ready?
Man B: Seriously, all set?
Man 2: I know that I am.
Man 3: Yeah, sure. You bet!
Man A: Alright, Marcy’s is fine.
Man B: For breakfast in a pinch.
Man 2: Hash browns that are solid.
Man 3: Though cash only’s a bitch.
Man A: Hey! Though that is quite true.
Man B: And no ATM nearby.
Man 2: Means it’s less than convenient.
Man 3: Like c’mon Marcy’s, try.
Man A: The Hobo Hash is indicative.
Man B: Of the whole place.
Man 2: Home fries, chili, cheese, eggs
Man 3: Straight to the face.
No, that’s not my finger in the side of the picture! IGNORE IT!
Man A: The proportion’s humongous.
Man B: Made with love not finesse.
Man 2: And the end result, while tasty.
Man 3: Is kind of a mess.
Man A: Flavors sink into flavors
Man B: Meld to form a gut bomb
Man 2: Enough food for a family.
Man 3: Even ur mom.
Man A: ...The best part’s the muffins
Man B: Heated straight off the grill.
Man 2: Though the coffee is standard
Man 3: ...I shouldn’t have taken that pill.
Man A: Seriously? What did he say?
Man B: We were doing so well…
Man 2: Man 3 what’s the deal?
Man 3: What if our skin was a shell?
Man A: Please tell me this isn’t happening.
Man B: Seriously, what did he take?
Man 2: I dunno he’s f-ing out-there
Man 3: Hee! That’s no hat for a snake!
Man A: So he’s tripping now, right?
Man B: Look, he’s crawling around.
Man 2: He’ll be fine in a minute…
Man 3: Sergeant Hissy just frowned.
Man A: Can we do this without him?
Man B: Yeah it’s pretty simple to do.
Man 2: Ummm. *Looks over at Man 3*
Man 3: A plus B equals… moo!
Hello, old friend.
Picture C/O Jemura42
Man A: Forget it, let’s try.
Man B: Yeah we were talking about coffee.
Man 2: So should we move to the service?
Man 3: Yebdo qhi ni Pon Mofee.
Man A: Oh now he’s talking in tongues!
Man B: This is really distracting...
Man 2: I knew I shouldn’t have invited him!
Man 3: Haha, boom bitches! Acting!
Man A: Wait, you were fine all along?
Man B: You son of a bitch!
Man 2: Jesus dude, I was worried.
Man 3: Chill out y’all, what’s the sitch?
Man A: The “sitch” is you’ve sunk us .
Man B: An abject disaster.
Man 2: Yeah man, I doubt anyone’s still reading.
Man 3: Whatever, you’re lame and I’m plastered.
Man A: Plastered or not...
Man B: Let’s just finish this thing.
Man 2: *whispering* actually it was pretty funny.
Man 3: *whispering back* Man A’s eyes were all *p-ting!*
Man A: Alright, Marcy’s: their service.
Man B: Been fast and courteous to me.
Man 2: Though the owner has a slight ‘tude.
Man 3: Hey, courtesy ain’t free.
Man A: Her personality is strong, I’ll concede.
Man B: But the food is the point.
Man 2: It’s fine enough for a diner.
Man 3: After a big fatty j… appoint… ment.
Killer selection of SOUCE, though.
Man A: I’ve had the corned beef hash.
Man B: The litmus test of a diner.
Man 2: Yeah we both had that too.
Man 3: And I have had finer.
Man A: That’s precisely the key.
Man B: It seems no matter what you get.
Man 2: It’s stick to your ribs tasty.
Man 3: But it’s never the best bet.
Man A: Yes, indeed it is good.
Man B: But for the rave reviews we've heard.
Man 2: After Caiola’s and Hot Suppa,
Man 3: this ain’t even third.
Man A: Indeed an adequate summation.
Man B: It’s the truth there’s no doubt.
Man 2: The best brunch in Portland?
Man 3: This is not, yo. Peace OUT.
|
FOOD: 3.0 Stars |
The type of meal where the first bite is great, and the last one is a labor. |
|
PRICE: Standard |
Nothing to break the bank. You’ll get more than stuffed for $14. Or just take it easy and you can skate out for under $10. |
|
AMBIENCE: Homey |
Lots of kitsch and “Kiss the cook... OR ELSE” type fridge stickers. Def cozy tho. |
|
SERVICE: Homey |
Again, like at home, they’re warm and know your name, but they won’t hesitate to give you some good-natured guff. |
|
EAT OR SKIP: Skip |
Sure, there’s a lot that Marcy’s does really right. It’s just that in Portland, the brunch options abound. For minimally more, and in some cases less money, you can find a brunch that’s about 4x better. |